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    Текст песни Adam Sandler - The Goat Song


    Adam Sandler - The Goat Song
    Исполнитель Adam Sandler
    Дата 05 декабрь
    Категория: Тексты песен
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    Слова песни Adam Sandler - The Goat Song

    I am a simple goat, I live on the back of a pick-up truck
    The old man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
    Am I happy he don't give a fuck
    Hey goat, I'm gonna beat your head in with a hickory stick

    Sometimes he uses his fists
    He's filled with anger, and filled with rage
    And tells me I smell like piss
    His drink, Jimmy Bean, his chaser, a bear
    After that, various alcohols
    That's when the beatings get so severe
    Asleep I pray he falls

    But don't feel sorry for me
    Things weren't always this bad
    Why, when I was a young talking goat
    The old man was just like my dad

    I come from the hills of Europe
    That's where I met the old man
    He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
    He gave me a tuna can

    Then he stopped in his tracks and he said, "Hey goat
    Would you like to live with me?
    I've got a house with a pick-up truck
    In a place across the sea"

    I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family
    You seem like a nice guy"
    So we went off to America
    The home of the apple pie

    On the boat, the old man told me
    I would be a present for his wife
    A talking goat, he exclaimed
    She'd never seen this in her life, I felt so special

    Well, I just couldn't believe it
    After all these years I finally had a friend
    He trimmed my beard, he scraped my hooves
    I prayed it would never end

    But when we got to his house, there was no wife
    Only a short, short letter
    It said, "I'm leaving you for your brother
    Because he fucks me better"

    His eyes filled with tears of sadness
    His heart was filled with grief
    To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
    And beat me like a side of beef

    I screamed, "Send me back to the hills of Europe"
    He just shook his head and said, "Nope"
    No one will ever leave me again
    To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope

    Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
    My only friend is the am radio
    Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
    But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw

    At first they're excited to see a talking goat
    They gather around to hear what I have to say
    But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long
    So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

    But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
    When the old man was passed out drunk
    Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock 'n' roll concert
    The kind of music, old-school funk

    It was the first time I got off the truck the music made me lose control
    The lead singer asked if we were having fun
    I said, "Fucking crank that rock 'n' roll"
    The women at the show were beautiful
    As they danced sexily on the soft grass
    One of them even petted my fur, fuck me in the goat-ass

    Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
    And threw me in the mosh pit
    They passed me around and treated me nice
    Till I nervously sprayed them with shit
    Then the music stopped and everything was quite
    And all the rock 'n' rollers started a fucking goat-riot

    Kill the goat, kill the goat
    Kill the goat, kill the goat

    They chased me under the bleachers
    They chased me onto the street
    They chased me into an alley
    And said, "I was a dead fucking goat meat"

    But then I saw a sight that I never thought I'd see
    The old man swinging his hickory stick
    But he wasn't swinging at me
    "Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys don't you press your luck"

    The long hairs ran away screaming as I scrambled onto the truck
    When we got home, the old man said, "Goat, you broke the sacred law"
    No, please, sorry, shit
    I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again I'll break your fucking jaw
    Super, great, okay

    Thank you old man, for saving my life
    Thank you again and again
    You could have let them barbecue me
    But you acted like a friend

    "I'm not your friend, I don't even like you I'm just not drunk," he said
    To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
    And beat the fucking shit out of my head
    Ow, ow, you're hurting me old man

    That night I served a concussion
    Deep inside my goat brain
    I still cannot feel my tail bone
    And I'll probably never walk straight again, yeah

    I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
    A punching bag for the old man to mock
    Just because his wife left him
    For his brother's abnormally large cock

    He could have been my buddy
    But instead he's a crazy old fuck
    And once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
    The back of the pick-up truck

    Goodnight, old man
    Yeah, goodnight goat
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